N8ivWarrior: November 2009

And a little over the edge.

I Hate Holidays

Published Tuesday, November 24, 2009 by John Burkholder.

I hate holidays. There is just too much crap wrapped around holidays. Thanksgiving is one of those holidays... I never really liked it to begin with since it represents the Natives saving the lives of the Pilgrims, whose spawn later murdered what was left after the diseases went through.

Most other holidays are really no better. The expectations surrounding costumes for Halloween, presents for Christmas, sex for Valentine's day (wait...that one isn't so bad). I just think that having plans for a holiday are bound for failure every time. Therefore, I plan to stop all holidays from this point further. Tomorrow, I will be attending a Capitals game downtown. Thursday, I will be eating a turkey sandwich without all of the fixings...because honestly I don't want the entire meal. I really like the turkey sandwich the following day.

Even with the 6 year old, it would be nice if we could cut out Christmas. Not very likely since she has done nothing but want Christmas since December 26th. She has been talking about Santa, Christmas trees, and candy canes. I think sometimes she is the leader of the elves.

I would love to say Christmas is in the tropics. Only those that can buy their way will be permitted to go.

Commercials

Published Sunday, November 22, 2009 by John Burkholder.

I am sitting here watching the Eagles beat the Bears and a commercial runs repeatedly during the breaks. It is 30 seconds of irrellevance:

So, after watching that, I have to think to myself that maybe I am just too old to get it. That commercial did not make me want to join the group of people already using a Jeep. It didn't make me feel like I need a Jeep because it has something I want. It didn't even make me think at all. Fact is, I feel like I lost 30 seconds of my life waiting to see a drawing of a Jeep on white paper.

What happemed to the Jeep climbing a mountain so someone can take their snowboard back down? What happened to the Jeep commercials showing the evolution and history of the Jeep? Even if you showed me a commercial with a hot chick fawning over the overweight plumber crack guy stepping out of the Jeep with a tool belt on. NOW THAT would be a commercial that would make me consider a Jeep. The plumber picking up the supermodel because he drives a Jeep. Not only do you sell the vehicle, but it is funny.

The supermodel is doing a photo shoot outside on stairs of some historic location and shee stops in her tracks as the brand new Jeep Cherokee pulls up front. A pregnant pause takes place. She is stunned. A balding bearded overweight plumber steps out on the opposite of the Jeep, grabs his tool belt out of the back seat and throws it around his waist as it pulls down on his pants. As his walks up the stairs, the supermodel runs up to him and says " I sure would like to get to know you better. You can pick me up at 7."

Stunned, the plumber walks away with a number in hand. The supermodel looks back at the vehicle. Now THAT'S a Jeep.

Paging Dr. Who...

Published Monday, November 02, 2009 by John Burkholder.

How your cloud provider interacts with you can be very overlooked. You may be able to email customer support if there is a problem and wait for the allotted 24 hours for a response, or you can always call...if they have phone services available.

Most cloud computing environment (especially the large ones) have forgotten that it is not just providing a service, but it is providing you with the information you need BEFORE you (the IT person forced to sit in the basement under the leaky water main) are asked why the system is not responding as it should.

Cloud services should focus more on the service aspect than the clouds. I am so punny. Where was I? Oh, so, cloud services are often more about how much does it cost for me to stand up a virtual machine rather than:

who will contact me with a problem;
what is the problem and who is fixing it;
when will the problem be resolved;
why did this happen;
where is the resolution to prevent it from happening again;
how does this affect my organization?

A company with a strong customer support group will already have these answers in place and ready. A very strong support group will tell you what is happening with your machine before it happens so that you can collaboratively resolve the issue. Of course, even with all of the monitoring and management by the best tools of the environment in the cloud will not always predict the arising black death of a server. So, you may have to make a phone call.

I like the way we do this part...In a normal environment, you will call the help desk and be placed in queue with the elevator music playing Greensleeves in your ears (Christmas is only 2 months away and I hear it in the mall already). After sitting in queue what seems like a lifetime, you finally get the tier 1 support person who you are certain:

does not have a clue as to what you are talking about;
does not speak your language;
does not have permission to resolve your issue;
can't find your account number because you have a name;
has to escalate the issue to someone else because they have no idea what a VM is;
or all of the above.

We do it slightly differently...We put highly qualified people from the U.S. on the front line with the power to create, destroy, and fix the issue on the first call. We count on them fixing more than destroying.