Being the man of the house and currently the sole provider of income, I find there are times in my day that I need to clean out my blockages of the brain and have a healthy bowel movement. We have 3 bathrooms (2 1/2 if you are a realtor) and for some reason, I am not allowed to poop in any of them.

THEY are allowed to poop in them and THEY make the adjacent rooms stink when they do. How fair is that? I am courteous and turn on the fan, spray the anti-poop-smell spray, and yet, the Queen throws a fit if I have to Crap in the Crapper (named after Thomas Crapper, making the flush toilet a household item). The cat is even allowed to drop a load in the downstairs bathroom.

I am the man of the house! Hear me roar! I have made some concessions with all of the women in the house. I do not leave the seat up. I turn on the fan. I spray the girlie smell-good stuff in the air. Seriously, do they think their shit don't stink? The women will even let off a fart at the dinner table...or in the van...or in Target. They will do it and keep walking waiting for me to walk through the luminescent green cloud. Not cool!

You know if I let off a fart at the dinner table, the Queen would claim that I made her throw up from the smell...oh...wait...I did do that...but that was in bed so it doesn't count. At least I didn't pull the covers over her head.

I tried teaching them a lesson by dropping an air biscuit at the dinner table once, but it had no affect and they laughed. Doe anyone know how to get them to stop...and let me poop in any of the bathrooms I choose?

Maybe I should make a sign...

Today is the lucky day. Need to buy a lottery ticket for tonight.

The word for "eight" (八，捌) in Mandarin (Pinyin: bā) sounds similar to the word which means "prosper" or "wealth" (发 - short for "发财", Pinyin: fā). In regional dialects the words for "eight" and "fortune" are also similar, eg Cantonese "baat" and "faat".

There is also a resemblance between two digits, "88", and the shuang xi ('double joy'), a popular decorative design composed of two stylized characters 喜 (xi, 'joy', 'happiness').

Telephone number 8888-8888 was sold for USD$270,723 in Chengdu, China.

The Summer Olympics in Beijing are scheduled to open on 8/8/08 at 8:08:08pm

Lets look at it from a numerologists perspective.
8+8+2008

8+8 = 16 = 1+6 = 7
2+0+0+8 = 10 = 1+0 = 1
7+1= 8

That makes it an 8 day

Eight is the number of material success or failure. The number of Karma. Eight has to work hard, and often needs to do the same thing over before success is achieved. The Eight is a strong number, with the will, focus and drive to achieve its goals.

The historic Christian Church has traditionally associated the Number 8 with the entrance into the Covenant of God. This understanding comes from God Himself who commanded Circumcision - the Sign of the Covenant - to be performed on the Eighth Day. God used the same language - pic (Oath B'rit, Sign of the Covenant) - when He gave the Rainbow (Genesis 9.13):

I do set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be for a token of a covenant between me and the earth.

The command to circumcise all male children was obeyed by Joseph and Mary after the Birth of Jesus (Luke 2.21):

And when eight days were accomplished for the circumcising of the child, his name was called JESUS, which was so named of the angel before he was conceived in the womb.

The contextual connection between the Number 8 and the Name of Jesus is amplified in this, one of the greatest alphanumeric identities linking the Greek and Hebrew languages to each other and the central doctrine of historic Christianity:

Jesus The Salvation of our God

lesous = 888 = Yeshoth Elohenu

The Resurrection of Jesus Christ is the ultimate new beginning. In the perfect Wisdom of God, it occurred on Sunday, simultaneously the First Day and the Eighth Day of the Week. It is the temporal equivalent of the Octave, established from the foundation of the World to teach us forever the glory of the resurrected Lord of the Universe.

There are seven days before the infinite loop of 7 days.

I hope you day is as lucky as my own.

Eddie Izzard is correct. It is a very long word in Scrabble and very impressive when displayed on the board.

My Queen and I have been visiting a chiropractor regularly to fix some aches and pains provided by our diet, lack of exercise, and genetics. We came across the good doctors at a street fair in Reston and he had this fancy electrocuting spinal alignment and dissentigration machine. He took one zap at my neck and said I was about to fall over because my head is too big. I blame my huge brain...

My Queen also was cooked by the portable electric chair thing and figured she may as well join me on the merry visit.

After doing a little research and finding out that the insurance company no longer thinks that chiropractors are closely related to miracle water salesmen, I went to my first appointment and had them xray me from stem to stern. They ran a battery of test to include finding out that I have no reflexes in my right ankle (Didn't realize I could have reflexes in my ankles), and fed me the results on the second visit. The doctor was kind enough to explain things in snail terms so I could understand and we agreed to move forward.

The third visit was really the first real visit in my book because that is when the good doctor "adjusted" me. The visit started with a warm towel wrapped around my neck and laying down on a full body massage table while staring up at the ceiling where there happened to be two monitors providing minutes of chiropractic trivial pursuit style question and answers. At the sound of the belll instead of coming off the table swinging, I simply said "damn." That was sooooo relaxing. I have to get one of those!

Moving into an examing room the doctor explained that this will not hurt and not to be scared. Is it me or when you hear words like that you automatically kick into the "oh, crap what have I gotten myself into" mode? He popped my neck in every direction about 50 times and then proceeded down the back along the spine. He placed me precariously on the edge of the table with one leg over the edge, the other leg behind my head, my right shoulder under the table the left shoulder facing the table and then he proceeded to jump off the ropes with his cape streaming in the air and body slammed me to produce the last needed pop to end the first session.

No...it actually didn't hurt. But do you know those moments when you moved in a certain way and you heard something happen but you are afraid to move because now it may hurt? That is exactly how it felt...the whole session. I actually walked out feeling really good. Next appointment 2 days later.

The following day however, my muscles were revolting. The good doctor warned me about it but I didn't realize the impact. So after they manage to straighten you out a little and loosen up the joints, the muscles want to put them back to where the muscles got used to it. So the muscles are fighting for supremacy. Damn the muscles. Down with the muscles!

A day later, another sumo wrestling match, more pops, and I am back to Dr. Feelgood. Can you get addicted to to popping? It is almost like..I have a headache, pop the back; I have a stomach ache, pop the back; I have a gall stone, pop the back; my arm is severed off, pop the back. It just feels sooo good.

Now though, we have moved into the exercises and traction stage. Move you head back 53mm 20 times a day for 10 seconds each. We will then place a 12 pounds weight on a sling and strap is to your head and throw it over the edge of the table. How much fun is that?

Well, I have to go do my exercises. I have another cracking tomorrow to prep for. Now what do I need popped?