N8ivWarrior: That feeling...

And a little over the edge.

That feeling...

Published Monday, April 23, 2007 by John Burkholder | E-mail this post

The other day, I drank so much tea, I barely made it to the urinal without hydroblasting the frontside of my blue jeans. This doesn't happen very often because I have had the unfortunate circumstance of pushing people aside just to get to the toilet. Ref: The Dance.

So the other day I was at the point of tears when I made it to the bathroom. Bathroom? Well, in my office there is a shower in our bathroom for the fitness center so I guess it is close enough. Maybe I should call it a showerroom. That looks and sounds funny.

Isn't it amazing what part of the body is actually in control? Well...it seems they talked amongst themselves:

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.

"I should be in charge, "said the brain, "because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

I should be in charge" said the blood, "because I circulate oxygen all over, so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge, " said the stomach," because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge" said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."

"I should be in charge" said the eyes, "because I allow the body to see where it goes."

"I should be in charge, "said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.

Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery and the blood was toxic.They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.

The Moral of the story?

The asshole is usually in charge.

Doubt me?

This brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). Listen to you rectum. Yes, it will sometimes actually speak to you, and most of the time it is really full of shit. But if you DON'T listen, you are in for a rude awakening.