As I begin the change in my career path to something more suitable for my personality, I have to wonder how many other people made career changes that were fundamental in the development or booms of American and International cultures. There are well known examples such as Albert Einstein going from a patent clerk to physicist or Gene Simmons from KISS moving from a Spanish Harlem school teacher to rock God, but what about the failures of change? Mariah Carey, I suppose would qualify under that with her movie debut, but that is still in the same entertainment vein and I don't know that counts.

Well, there are some (of which I hope I do not follow suit). Let's take for instance Ross Perot. Ross Perot was an IBM salesperson who decided that after IBM was not listening to his ideas, created EDS. EDS did extremely well and Ross was a bizillionaire. So, in 1992, he ran for President of the United States. With very little political background, and a boat load of money, he made the big push to gain votes and popularity. After making excellent progress and after taking some heat from both the Democratic and Republican parties, he calls it quits. No wait, he is back...or is he? Thus, the political suicide of Ross Perot. He understood business and money, but didn't understand the people and politics.

He is not the only person to make a change like this to see his demise. He is accompanied by money magazine mogul, Steve Forbes and wrestling superstar Jessie "the body" Ventura (who actually served as Governor of Minnesota).

It is not only people that makes severe changes, but companies such as Hewlett Packard.

Did you know...

Hewlett Packard's first product was the automatic urinal flusher?

Just think if we still had Hewlett Packard's making automatic toilet flushers. Instead of printing on your HP printer attached to your Compaq (now owned by HP) computer, I could be standing in front of the urinal singing the theme song to Gilligan's Island while staring at the HP logo.

This brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). This changing career thing is not as easy as it sounds. It is not that I didn't know this, it is that I WANTED it to be easier than it is. The wife (QueenSuchandSuch) and I have to straighten out a few things like housing, food, clothing, transportation, homeowners association fees, taxes, utilities, school, toilet paper, duct tape and a plethora of other items before we can actually make this work. So, as much as I want to make this change sooner rather than later, I also understand the reality of it all.

Today I have managed to sit down and relax with a couple of movies. I used to watch movies all the time but I have been preoccupied with blogging and World of Warcraft over the past year plus. Well, since I have reduced blogging down tremendously and quit World of Warcraft completely, I have found the time to rediscover an old love.

I tend to watch all types of movies. There are some I love and some I hate. But today, I have managed to get into not one but two Indian movies. This is India Indian, not Native American Indian. The first movie, called "The Journey", was about an Indian school headmaster who moves in with his son in Pittsburgh. You are privvy to the family interaction and the cultural boundaries Americans do not see. I actually liked this movie even though IMDB readers only give it 5.7 stars. The ending could have used more work.

The second Indian movie was apparently a blockbuster in India named "Lagaan". Now this movie had better ratings and according to my Indian co-workers, was nominated for an Oscar. This movie lost me a few times only because I do not know all of the rules of Cricket. It was actually well acted and entertaining (music number and all), with a happy and at the same time depressing ending. If you have a chance to see it, do. If nothing else, it is supposed to be a textboard example of the classic Indian movie making style.

This brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). Why is it as Americans, we tend to stay within the confort and boundaries of our own house? What do I mean? Well, how much do you really know about India's people, culture, religions? What do you know about Somalia, Equador or Iceland? For that matter, what do we know about anything else that is going on but what we are spoon-fed by the media?

Do we want to learn how other cultures live? Do we want to understand what they have had to live through? Does anyone even know the name of their mayor?

Let's take a quick assessment:

Who is your mayor?
How many colonies were there when the United States was formed?
Where was the first established European settlement in the "new world"?
How many people lived here when the Mayflower landed?
If you were counting Presidents, which one are we on? What's his name?

Now to really expand your horizons:

What is the currency, language and population in Palau?
How many provinces and territories are there in Canada? What is Nunavut considered?
Where is Cape Horn?
What country is in charge of Antarctica?
How many people were killed in Rwanda between April and June 1994? Here's a hint.

I can bet you know the important things though:

Where is the closest Wal-Mart?
How many people won the last Powerball and with how many tickets?
Who did Meredith from Gray's Anatomy have sex with this week?
Who won the Super Bowl?
How many rolls of toilet paper do you have in the bathroom right now?

Now don't get me wrong, that last list was all very important, but if I were to weigh the amount of people killed in Rwanda with the amount of people who won the Powerball, I would think people should know those answers. People of America will continue to have a blind eye. It is too depressing to think we as a people could just ignore it.

So, watch a movie.

Tonight I have been contemplating how exactly to get from point A (my current career) to point B (the career I would like).

A few things have happened over the last few days.

• The Wicked Witch resigned...YAAAAA!
• My boss got the flu which I hope and pray I will not acquire.
• I am seriously thinking of just shutting down my Xanga account or at least not using it.

The wicked witch resigning was actually a very pleasant surprise. I knew she had been looking around, but never figured she actually had a lead. She claims she is moving on to another company, but I am positive it was a forced resignation. The project under her control have ALL failed miserably. The main project is actually a year and a half behind. She really wasn't a good fit for the position anyhow...we have had a 54% roll-over rate and nobody even said a word. Upper management figured as long as the project is finished, who cares about roll-over. The problem with that thought process is the 54% were the people who actually knew what they were doing.

My boss is sick. Really sick. To add to his misery, he caught the flu from his almost ex-wife and kids. So, he brings it to work to share. Wasn't that nice of him... I luckily was not at the office yesterday, so hopefully, I dodged the bullet. It truly amazes me how many people are willing to play around with somebody else's health by working while they are sick. It is no wonder it can spread through the office like wildfire.

Sidebar, QueenSuchandSuch went to the doctor as well today for a check-up. Well, she found this doctor she loves and apparently has a sense of humor. I would never have believed it. But she laughed at my comment "Did you know that 50% of the doctors graduated in the lower half of their class?" She followed it up with "What do you call a doctor who graduated LAST in their class?...Doctor." Now I do not find this terribly funny, but my wife felt it was necessary to call my cell phone at work and repeat this back to me expecting my usual jovial laugh. I was in a meeting...ever have those cell phone calls in a meeting from your spouse?

Let's think this out...My wife is at the doctor, I receive a cell phone call and I think oh, no...something is wrong. So as soon as I walk out of the conference room, I dial her back to hear the doctor's joke. I sometimes think she is punishing me.

Back to my list. I am seriously thinking of shutting down my Xanga. I have 92 subscribers, but I really don't want to keep up on it. I love to write, but I am fed up with eprops and featured content spammers. I will have to think this over.

I am sure PeppyAnnie will catch everyone up on her trip soon. Read her blog.

So I often just have to take some time to figure out what is bothering me and what to do about it. Here is what I have come up with:

1. I am tired of my current career after doing it for 21 years. I like Information Technology as a tool, and I used to like it as a career. There is too much pressure and I am on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 1/4 days a year. I can't REALLY take a vacation because, for some reason, nobody can manage to put all of the pieces together to fix the issue. People are more into the blame game, rather than fixing it.
2. I am at the right age for a change. I am not too old yet, and I have a good idea as to how businesses as a whole run. No, this is NOT a middle-aged reflection on life and a need to go buy a Mazda Miata to make up for the things I have missed out on. This is an "I'm tired" and I need something that is not constantly on.
3. I like providing experiences. I cannot go into detail about what I will be doing yet, but I think this new venture will work out nice.
4. When first starting out, I can do this from home.
   

Now there are drawbacks to any career change:

1. Uncertainty...I am not sure I will be able to do as well in this new career idea as I do in my current job.
2. Money...I do fairly well on the money side of things, I intend to make as much in my new career, but there is that uncertainty thing again.
3. I will be spending a lot of my extra time working toward my new goal which means everything else (including blogging) moves to the back-burner.
   

So, in general, I will not be blogging while working on other ideas and ventures. I may come on once in a while to check on everyone, but for now all I can say is, thank you very much. I imagine my wife, (QueenSuchandSuch) will continue on, so keep an eye on her.

I am starting to come out of my funk. This can be attributed to the fact that today was my last day of work for the week and that Monday is a holiday, this is true. It could be attributed to the Queen getting her beloved Eddie Izzard DVD and laptop power supply.

More than likely, it could be the fact that the entire household anxiously awaits the arrival of PeppyAnnie from Kentucky. Woohooo! The entire Warrior/SuchandSuch household is brimming with the anticipation of taking her to see the Bean. You know, the item Chicago is know for, the giant stainless steel bean at Millennium Park. We had a ticket to Wicked for her, but that fell through.

I love doing this. I love taking people to somewhere they have never been and watch their faces as they discover a place that has only been dreamed. For me, PeppyAnnie will be in Chicago tomorrow night to watch a dream. Granted it may have to change to the Blue Man Group instead of Wicked…or we may end up buying seats at face value, but it will be a dream nonetheless.

I cannot wait to see the awe on her face when she has lunch on the 95th floor of the John Hancock building. I can’t wait for her to squeak in child-like excitement when we drive under McCormick place and she has her first good view of the Chicago skyline and further down Lake Shore Drive, Navy Pier.

I thrive on providing experiences for people who haven’t had them. I live for my own experiences. PeppyAnnie’s arrival is especially fun because it is also means for the first time, we are meeting a fellow blogger. I promise to take photos.

Other things have been happening to me since I have been non-existent in Xangaland…I have decided I am ready to change careers. Twenty one years in the same extremely high pressure IT industry as an Operations Manager is enough. I am going to start looking at my options. Maybe I will move into real estate or underwater welding. I have actually taken one of those career options tests and it said I should be, get this…an IT Operations Manager. What do they know…

This brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). How does someone go about picking a new career? I have seen books and CDs and online tests all telling me to do what I want to do. Problem is, the career I want is really Wal-Mart greeter or movie watcher. I don’t think either pay well. Someone needs to invent something that scans your brain and says, you are made to be a horse stall cleaner. Think about how many people would be happy and suitable for their jobs.

Just think about the machine that tell all of those managers and up that they were meant to be plumbers. Of course, with my luck, this perfect career machine would tell me to be…an IT Operations Manager. If you could change your career right now, what would it be?

Have you ever had one of those jobs where everyone wants to be in charge, but nobody wants to take responsibility? ARGH!

Where is my DUCT TAPE!

Have you ever seen the movie “Runaway Bride”? In the movie, Richard Gere is in a bar waiting for his inspiration to show up so he can write his article. The article happens to be about this woman who would leave men at the altar. It ends up getting him fired because all of the “facts” were not right.

Well, this blog is NOT about the love story or find out whoever you are within. This is about waiting for inspiration. I am Richard Gere today sitting on the train with my laptop open waiting for something to strike me like a…lightning bolt (read last blog). On a side note, the barbershop quartet in the movie was from my barbershop choir. How cool is that? Well, I guess it is cool if you don’t think barbershop singing is not dorky or lame…OK, moving on.

Sometimes there are days that are really uneventful. Take today, my train ride to work was riddled with the talk of Grey’s Anatomy (wasn’t that a great episode) and how everyone managed to really get smashed on the train last Friday night. To expand on this, it seems I have managed to make my own set of friends and they just happen to partake in alcoholic beverages on Friday afternoons for the train ride home. There was more beer and alcohol in our portion of the car than the entire Houston Astrodome.

I was half expecting one of the women to stand up and start stripping with the disco ball and strobe lights already flashing in the train car. Instead, one of the guys started stripping after one of the ladies poured half of the bottle of 7-up all over his crotch. They all laughed and laughed. That probably would not be nearly as funny if everyone was sober (except for the people who saw it happen).

I actually think it is odd that not only does my wife (QueenSuchandSuch) manage to be considered Lady Godiva of her Mom’s group, but I have managed to make friends with the rowdy, party crowd. It is odd because when we lived in Virginia, we would avoid our neighbors. The problem with Virginia is nobody in the DC metropolitan area is actually from the DC metropolitan area. They are all transplants to work there or provide some sort of Ambassador services. I hated working in DC.

I attended my usual 4 hours of meetings to discuss a lot about nothing and actually resolve zilch. I managed to press my Easy button about 5 times today. Yes, I have an Easy button. I bought it at Staples the other day for me and my peers to try to heighten morale. It seems to be working rather well much to my surprise and VJACK and Clarisey’s (there I included you in my blog) chagrin.

Ever notice how co-workers want you to add their names somewhere in your blog? Sometimes, you just have to agree it so they unwrap the duct tape from your nose AND mouth. Neither VJACK or Clarisey are bloggers, they are lurkers (someone without an account but reads your blog religiously). You know, these people will give me all of their input and make comments about it while at work, but will never have the guts to actually start their own blog to leave real comments (taunt, taunt). I digress.

So, today I purchased my train tickets and bus passes so I do not have to walk from the train station to the office a mile and a half way. I have made this walk many times and managed to dodge the barrage of bird poo from the pigeons. Do you remember the Super Bowl commercial with the black car and the pigeons that spotted it from the sky and targeted said car? I love that commercial. How come it didn’t make the top 50 Super Bowl commercials of all time? Anyway, that is what it is like walking down the sidewalk with a black coat.

OK, where am I in this blog? Oh yeah, now I am on the train. No I am not attached to the Internet although that is pretty cool when there are people that can do that, I am not one of them. I figure I am attached enough that the train is a bad idea. So, instead, I write in Microsoft Word and copy and paste it into my web space when I make it home. See, no Internet addiction and a very boring day. Hope everyone had an exciting day!

Yesterday I admitted I was very edgy. I sometimes wonder what facilitated all of these problems with my nerves. Could it be a genetic defect? Will I be walking down the street one day and start slapping myself across the face? Could it be a possession? Can I be possessed by my departed father? Is this his way of getting back at me for not eating those tomatoes he was forcing upon me in my youth? I still don’t eat tomatoes (at least not raw). Maybe I am being possessed by my departed brother or first wife.

I sometimes think that it would be easier to explain why I feel like I need to slap someone up against the side of the head with duct tape by blaming it on someone else. But I am sure it is not someone else. I think it may be because of the President. Hey, everyone else blames it on the President, why can’t I? I should sue. The cross-examination:

My Wonderful Attorney: Mr. President, is it true you have caused grievous harm against N8ivWarrior and his family by making him do things like work?

The President: N8ivWarrior works? Oh, well, of course not. You see the confiscation of the public has to be to politify the needs of the many over the needs of the few. I cannot explain the trouble N8ivWarrior is seeing, has he paid his taxes?

My Wonderful Attorney: Did you say politify? Is that a word? Do you even know what I just asked?

The President: Which one do you want me to answer? I am sorry, I have to go. Mrs. Presidentiary has called me for dinner.

Well paid Superior Court Judge up for Supreme Court seat: OK, thank you Mr. President. You are dismissed. Tell the Mrs. I said Hi.

My Wonderful Attorney: I object!

Well paid Superior Court Judge up for Supreme Court seat: So do I. I should have gotten his signature.

It appears that scenario will not work out for me anyhow. He would just pardon himself like the last President did.

Actually, I have been diagnosed with Essential Tremors. Basically, I feel like I am shaking all of the time and sometimes it shows. It has a lot of the same characteristics of Parkinson’s, but it is not degenerative. It is especially noticeable when I am tired. Alcohol actually calms the benign tremors allowing me to relax more. There appears to be no cause for ET and it does not appear to be genetic. But my case may be slightly different. Mine may be a result of nerve damage.

This brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). Do NOT go swimming in the outdoor pool in the summer in Show Low, Arizona.

Show Low is located precariously on a mountain ridge in Eastern Arizona. This location often has orographic precipitation. This is precipitation caused by the air flow moving up a mountain and colliding with the high air creating a storm raining only on that side of the mountain. In the photo, you will notice the Northern portion looks rather dry…it is. All of the rain has fallen on the southern side of Show Low.

Well, this precipitation brings on storms clouds rather fast. When I was 14 years of age, I was swimming in the hotel pool when the first lightning strike hit…the pool. I was tossed out of the pool, over the fence and onto the ground. Luckily, the lady sitting near the pool saw all of this and yelled for help. I know, I know, that explains a lot.

What came out of this lightning strike? Well, I had more clarity on my purpose in life. I knew that I was to look into the future, gain as much knowledge about everything as possible, and LIVE life. The pauses in life that I am facing now, are my checks and balances.

What are your checks and balances in life?

Today has been one of those roller coaster days where I cannot manage to stay comfortable in my own skin. It may be time for a cleansing. What brought this on?

Well, I haven’t felt quite like my old self since I took the very brief respite from Xanga. The Queen and I have both been a bit off center and off cycle. So much to the point when she asked me if she was getting on my nerves, I had to tell her yes.

How could it be? How could I get irritated with my soul mate? It is me. I know it is. There are apparently things that are in my head that need to be straightened out and my spirit guide and dreams aren’t guiding me at this moment. I know it has to do a lot with work and impending home issues. I know the stress of it all has contributed. But normally, I cope with it in some sort of way.

The day overall has gone well. We went out for a very good breakfast this morning and proceeded to stuff myself. After, we went to pick up paint and other supplies so the Queen can paint the stairwell. She then dismissed me with the older kids to the movies. We saw Pink Panther. It was not a bad movie, but I did not see as much humor in it than everyone else. I again think my shift in the dimension I am in contributed.

I am easily agitated. For instance, the other day, I had this overwhelming urge to slam the perfect stranger in the elevator up again the elevator door just because their cologne was too strong.

Maybe this is one of the side-effects of aging (heavily on my mind lately if you can’t tell). Maybe this is a lack of sleep or at least rested sleep. Maybe the child pornography and hate sites triggered some deep disgust that I have suppressed. Maybe it is because that person’s cologne has some sort of chemical in it that flipped a switch in my pea-brain. Maybe it is my worry for my oldest child and my hope that she is thinking about her decisions before she makes them. I don’t know. But this uncertainty is really bothering me.

I figured my trip to Tampa would level me back out. But looking back, the social and work commitments did not exactly leave me much time to focus on my inner being. I need to figure out what it is.

To all of my family, I apologize.

This morning I decided to take a different train to work. The train I normally take arrives at a different station and I would have to walk an extra 1/2 mile. Where am I going with this?

While I was on the train, I was gazing out the window and I noticed a Volkswagen beetle in a yard. My first instinct was to punch the person next to me and call "slug bug (or punch buggy) gray 10 points." I imagine the stranger sitting next to me as I write this might look at me and possibly charge me with assault. I refrained. The orange jump suit does not work well with my complexion.

I have to admit though, if the Queen was sitting here, I would have let it go. It would be a case of me or her. I know for a fact that if she would have seen it, my arm would still be pulsing with pain. You all may be wondering what the points are about.

Well, I like to take road trips (this has been stated many times in previous blogs). When we take them, we came up with road games. My Mom used to have me play the license plate game: pad of paper and the objective is to find more state plates than the other person (my Mom). She was really good at this game, but I had better eyesight and could see further down the road.

Another game we came across was road bingo. The bingo board has certain things you see on the road such as a man driving a minivan or a picnic table. This game was kinda cool.

But the long time Warrior family road game is the point game. So, here is the objective (it is very simple), get the most points. Parents and children alike play this game and find it enjoyable. Here is the rundown of points as I remember them:

1 point - Jeep (Wrangler style)
5 points - kiss buggy (the new Volkswagen beetle) we called it the kiss buggy because when they first came out, I figured I would start seeing them everywhere. So instead of having emergency room visits for all of the kids, I figured we would call them kiss buggies.
5 points - limousine (must be a stretch)
10 points - slug bug (punch buggy)
10 points - hummer (H2 or H3)
25 points - woody (this is a vehicle with wood grain on the side) 100 points - hummer (H1 or Humvee. The kids forget about the military humvees so I take full advantage)
Lifetime win - a motorcycle with a woman driving and a man hanging on the back. (the entire family has been searching for this for 7 years).

Note: another family member has to be present in order to have the lifetime win.

This brings me to my point (as I almost ways have one). Why don’t we still play those games? So what, the kids have grown up and moved out of the house. This is when you are supposed to have the MOST fun.

The next time you are walking down the sidewalk and you see a woody, yell out “WOODY, 25 POINTS!” Maybe the next time you end up raking leaves, make a big pile and jump into them. Don’t let your childhood run away from you just because you have to “act like an adult.” Just be glad you are not sitting next to me when I see another slug bug. Or when you are waiting in the grocery line, play duck-duck-goose.

Do you still play?

Aging weighs heavily on my mind because this year, I will turn 40. I (like many other men) take time to reflect on my goals and aspirations from when I graduated high school. Therefore, it is time to review the list to determine my progress:

• Buy a new Pontiac Fiero
• Earn a million dollars by age 40 Well, this one does not look very promising. Of course I didn’t clarify if that was every dollar I have ever made, so in the 25 years I have been working, I think this one counts.
• Ride in a limo by age 35. Actually, on my 35th birthday, my wonderful wife and kids took me to Morton’s in a limo.
• Get married without kids. Well, I guess THAT didn’t work out as planned.
• Travel to all 50 states and 20 countries. 49 states and 2 countries completed. I guess I better hit Hawaii and do some overseas traveling.
• Invent something useful. LMAO…I seriously doubt I will actually accomplish this.
• Own my own house. YEAH! Check! Well, the bank owns it.
• Gain 25 pounds. OK, let me explain. When I graduated high school, I was 5 feet 10 inches and 127 pounds. I was a stick. Needless to say, I have totally blown that 25 pounds out of the water. Now if I lost 25 pounds, I would be thrilled.
• Run my own company. Did this one. Then when we had it running, we sold it off.
• Make a boat out of duct tape. I actually made this boat with a friend while I was in the Air Force. But the problem was the cardboard on the other side of the duct tape sealant. When it had the slightest bit of water hit it, the cardboard softened. So the boat floated for about 2 minutes successfully before taking on water.
• Have sex with more than one woman at a time. :) I will never tell…

So, instead of dwelling on my losses and going out and buying some Miata convertible to make up for everything I “lost” out on, I decided to take my list and revise it ever so slightly.

• To not be in debt when I die.
• Buy any new car.
• Earn a million dollars. In this case, I am referring to Taiwan New Dollars. That equals out to 30,875.63 US dollars.
• To pay off this house I “own.”
• Make a boat out of duct tape.
• Travel to all 50 states and 20 countries. 49 states and 2 countries completed. I guess I better hit Hawaii and do some overseas traveling.
• Watch my kids get married.
• Graduate from college.
• Lose 40 pounds.
• Still be ABLE to have sex at 80.

This brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). When you are young you have visions and ambitions for what the world has to offer. You are just waiting to conquer everything on your list and be rich, famous, better than your parents were. As you age, reality has to take over your thought process. When I see the man with the toupee flapping in the breeze in his Miata convertible leaving the divorce lawyer’s office, I wonder what he missed so badly that he is willing to ruin his life.

This is life. Sometimes the things you plan don’t always work the way you want. The reality. It is reality that teaches you the lessons you really need to know.

What are your goals in life?

I am having a really crabby, grumpy, bitchy, naggy, aggresive, frustrated, disconcerted, disillusioned, disoriented, beat up, cut up, disheartening, ornery, miserable day.

I think I should avoid writing today. I mean I should avoid writing anymore than that. I mean that. I am going to stop...now.

At what point does the brain decide that the time to go is right then? For me, this is one of the most harrowing experiences I have ever had.

I was visiting the Smithsonian Air and space museum in Washington, DC and we had made the mistake (my mistake) of having Kentucky Fried Chicken for lunch. The reason it is such a disastrous mistake is (as I found out later) I am allergic to the K-F-C.

So, here I am walking around the museum and I realize that I need to head to the facilities. Normally, I can hold back and continue on for a good hour. But this was the allergy buildup. A sudden sharp pain striking my abdomen, the gas buildup in the intestines, I know this was turning ugly in a hurry. But I am a guy and I can keep my cool. I explain to the wife that I will return shortly and begin my quest.

I walk to the IMAX theater close by and ask for directions to the restroom. I can feel the sweat start to break on my forehead and my knees start to weaken. After she explains to me that the restrooms are on the upper level, I quickly think out every scenario to as quickly as possible, get to the upper level and enter and sit.

The stairs. The stairs are painstakingly high when you are holding back what could be considered the top blowing off of Mount St. Helens. I take them in twos just to reduce the numbers of steps and the amount of time.

I then spot the restroom entrance in the middle of the hallway and break the Olympic walking record to the finish line. I reach the entrance only to see the dreaded line. The line from hell. A line of 8 men waiting for a stall. I had to double check to see if this was really the women’s room. The men’s room NEVER has a line for the stalls. How could this be?

So, I wait. 1 down. I dance the dance, bending over, tippy toes, left, right, left, bending over, I can’t stand this. Where did we learn this dance? When we have such a need to actually stand still, we swing, disco, foxtrot, tootsie roll, whatever it takes to keep moving. So I stood in the congo line of grown men awaiting my turn for the open stall.

If all of them don’t empty soon, I am going to make the bathroom floor a color other than gray. I am nearly doubled over at this point because the pain and pressure are so great. 1 more empties and I commit the biggest taboo in bathroom etiquette. I walk around the first guy in line and grab the stall.

Of course the guy who I am sure has been waiting for an hour begins to object, but I don’t care. This was about survival and I was not going to make it any longer. I one swift motion, I am closing the door, pulling down pants and sitting down. As my butt hits the seat, the loudest, grossest avalanche begins. I moan in relief. The man who was raising the objection hollers out “never mind! I can wait.”

Not even two minutes later, I am out of there. The men in line (same men) look at me like I had just died with that white gaze. I washed my hands and back to the wife and kids.

This brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). Why in the world would they build a building with that many visitors and not have 1) bathrooms on the first floor and 2) enough stalls? Why do people get so upset when someone HAS to cut in line? Maybe they just have no choice.

Have you ever been to the point you would commit a taboo to prevent a catastrophe?

Rock-a-bye-baby On the treetop
When the wind blows,
The cradle will rock.
When the bough breaks,
The cradle will fall
And down will come baby
Cradle and all

OK, so how messed up is that? Who would stick their baby in a treetop? Why would they talk about baby’s plummeting to the ground? What is wrong with all of us that we would freely sing this nursery rhyme? Where did it come from?

Well, the author of this lullaby was reportedly a pilgrim who sailed on the Mayflower. The Wampanoag Indians, who befriended (wow, they died to regret that) the colonists, carried their infants in cradleboards on their backs. In temperate weather, they suspended the cradles from tree limbs so that passing breezes could rock the babies while their mothers tended the maize and beans.

At least this is what is believed to be the history behind it. What if the song was made up by the Salem witches and was really a curse on the town that they sang while being burned at the stake? How do they know? Take for instance:

Ring Around the Rosie (or Ring a Ring of Rosies)
A pocket full of posies
Ashes, Ashes
We all fall down

Here is the conflict…Philip Hiscock, a folklorist at Memorial University in Newfoundland, states that this rhyme likely originated as a way of skirting Protestant bans on dancing:

"Adolescents found a way around the dancing ban with what was called in the United States the 'play-party.' Play-parties consisted of ring games, which differed from square dances only in their name and their lack of musical accompaniment. They were hugely popular, and younger children got into the act, too. Some modern nursery games, particularly those which involve rings of children, derive from these play-party games. 'Little Sally Saucer' (or 'Sally Waters') is one of them, and 'Ring Around the Rosie' seems to be another. The rings referred to in the rhymes are literally the rings formed by the playing children."

The other interpretation is The words to the Ring around the rosy children's ring game have their origin in English history . The historical period dates back to the Great Plague of London in 1665 (bubonic plague) or even before when the first outbreak of the Plague hit England in the 1300's. The symptoms of the plague included a rosy red rash in the shape of a ring on the skin (Ring around the rosy). Pockets and pouches were filled with sweet smelling herbs ( or posies) which were carried due to the belief that the disease was transmitted by bad smells. The term "Ashes Ashes" refers to the cremation of the dead bodies! The death rate was over 60% and the plague was only halted by the Great Fire of London in 1666 which killed the rats which carried the disease which was transmitting via water sources.

So how in the world did we decide singing this to our kids was a good idea if it is all true? Hey kids, lets sing about Watergate and the Challenger explosion! How about this?

Monica, Monica
What a nice dress
Don’t tell Hillary
I have made a mess

This brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). What if just maybe, they were just kid’s songs. Think about this. Is Barney’s “I love you” song going to be turned into some sort of political statement 300 years in the future? Will it have something to do with our oppression of purple dinosaurs? I end with this highly political statement…

If all of the Raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops
Oh what a rain that would be…
Standing outside with my mouth open wide (opens mouth)
Ah, ah..ah..ah….ah, ah..ah….ah, ah..ah
If all of the Raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops
Oh what a rain that would beeeeeeeeeeee

I am not feeling terribly funny today. For months now I have been able to devise new methods and ideas to make life better with duct tape and explain it to the readers. But today, I feel as if I cut off an arm because it kept hitting me in the face. I have been asked by several people to return to Xanga. I have thoguht about this very carefully and have decided to fight the fight. Thank you all for your support.

Since I found out about all of the issues, I feel as though I have been contributing to the affair. I feel like I have to take a shower. You know, that moment whe you wake up the day after and realize you don't know where you are and have to eat your arm off so you do not wake the other person.Work is also weighing heavily on my mind. The thought of having to return is a bit bothersome. I actually like my job, but I hate the politics. People are jumping ship left and right in an attempt to keep from being on the ship when we finally fall below the freezing cold water. I just hope something happens before we are out of life rafts.For those of you who actually read this, I do not have a bachelors degree. I have had opportunities, but have had to decline for multiple reasons:

• When I graduated high school, I had scholarship opportunities for music at several schools. But when I thought about a career, I didn't see one in music. Polka music just doesn't have the draw it should.
• When I left the Air Force, I had another opportunity to go back to school but after 4 years in the Air Force, I had been trained in a well-paying career. A career with huge potential. Telephone and Data Circuitry.
• I went back to school for a short time in 2002 but the checks from consulting stopped coming since I wasn't working and I had 3 kids and a wife to support. So, back to work.

Now, I don't have a lot of options. I am the sole breadwinner and the closest college would require a lot more time and money than I have to offer. Here is why I bring this up...if I go to look for a new job, I often get placed on the bottom of the pile because I don't have a degree. I have 21 years in information technology but the human resources groups (note to Catbert) look for the degree.

This brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). Get your degree! Finish school on your first opportunity and get the degree. Even if your degree is in coffee maker security, get the degree. I WILL get my degree. Even if I am 92 when I finally receive it, it will come.

As I was browsing through Blogspot (which I am really enjoying the content), I discovered Dog of Electric Faith. So, I have to go round up all of my CDs to send to this company so I can get my FREE iPOD. That's right! Free! I have been trying to figure out a way to buy one of those. But if trading is an option, I am ALL IN!

I know, I have a lot of posts today, but it is like a adult in an electronics store...I mean a kid in a candy store.

I began paging through Blogspot and came upon this... Christi Thomas. Christi is an eight year old girl from Ohio who has Neuroblastoma. Neuroblastoma is a rare cancer of the nervous system striking about 600 children in the U.S. per year. There are no genetic or environmental causes; it appears to strike at random. Seventeen years ago this was 100% fatal. Christi’s cancer spread beyond the tumor around her heart and along her spine and was 98-99% packed in her bone marrow. Upon diagnosis on September 11, 2002, she was given a 35% chance of surviving five years and a much lower chance of surviving 10-20 years.

Christi is a fighter and I will think of her and her family. I have also added her link to my site.

By the way, I have yet to stumble into a teenagers site. I wonder how many are here. Lots of international sites.

Yesterday, I decided on moving my blog to Blogger. I personally think it is a bit more complicated, but it is clean and neat with a few more and a few less features than Xanga. The dashboard provides me with a quick view of all of my blogs in a list and adds more functionality in the comments sections. But you have to have an idea as to how this all works. There is not a simple path and sometimes the features make posting an ordinary entry a bit more complicated. The Xanga dashboard provided me a view to see when each of my blogs received a comment.

What I do like, is that you can change the entire look of the page through the HTML interface in the template section. Xanga limited you on how much you can alter the system without having to step into premium. Blogger gives you that capability out of the box and I have yet to find a fee for service requirement.

Additionally, I found the flag capability quite refreshing. The readers determine if the topic is objectionable and click the flag. This immediately makes the content unsearchable and draws the attention of the Blogger administrators to determine if the content needs to be removed or if law enforcement needs to be notified. This is a great acheivement considering the reasoning behind my exit of Xanga.

To be perfectly honest, if Xanga were to actually clean up their act and provide the readers with the necessary tools such as Blogger has offered, I would jump back. Even though it would be like Ross Perot jumping in and out of the Presidential race. I would lose credibility, but I would also be close to a community of people I enjoy. I don't think Blogger has that community feel to it. It doesn't have the blogrings. It does seem to have more adult blogs though.

I miss Xanga. I miss the ease of use. I miss the subscription list. I miss the blogrings. I don't miss the random props. I don't miss the featured content. I miss my friends.

I feel very solemn today. Hopefully tomorrow I will be back to my old self.

I have made an executive decision in my life today.

MomofJenMatt is right about a very sensitive issue and I have been running it through my mind for most of the night. I am strongly against the support of child pornography and to be honest, Xanga could be considered as contributing to the distribution of child pornography.

Therefore, this is my last post with Xanga. I am moving to http://www.blogger.com/. Blogger.com is tied to/owned by Google. It is a little more complicated to use, but I figure I will get used to it.

This is my new blog site:

http://n8ivwarrior.blogspot.com/

I welcome you to join me, although anyone can read and comment on my blog. You do not need to be a member. I hereby resign the Viewer's Choice to LarsThunder.

Thank you for viewing and good luck to you all.

Well, wasn’t Viewer’s Choice fun? Fortunately for me, I will only do that the first of each month.

I have been thinking which QueenSuchandSuch claims is very dangerous and often has to pull out the fire extinguisher to reduce the flame and smoke damage. What I have realized is that I have found many Xanga virtual friends. When the Queen and I were both in Yahoo!, we would attend “chat” parties. They were monthly and often held in the Crystal City Bar and Grill.

So, my question to you is this, what would everyone think of having a Xanga weekend of frivolous frolicking and fun filled friendships? Since this is the first one ever, I was thinking about once a year. If it has a huge demand, I suppose we could increase the occurrences, but let’s not get carried away.

So, my first suggestion for the location is Chicago. My first reasoning for Chicago is, I don’t have to travel (selfish I know). But there is some logic behind it. Chicago during the summer is absolutely the best city in the world. I have traveled all over the U.S. and this city is the best.

There are other reasons behind Chicago, O’Hare airport is a central hub for many airlines so the airfare tends to be less. There is a plethora of things to do other than shopping the Magnificent Mile. Here is a small list:

Navy Pier
Shedd Aquarium
Adler Planetarium
Field Museum
Museum of Science and Industry
Lake Michigan
Sear’s Tower (even though John Hancock observation is better)
Chicago Architecture
Chicago nightlife (for the younger Rush street crowd)
Buckingham Fountain
Grant Park
Brookfield Zoo
Lincoln Park and Zoo
Six Flags
The cars on a spike
Architectural Boat tour complete with some leftover Dave Mathews DNA.

Being a good leader, he then went to the nearest phone booth and called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is this winter to be cold?" The man on the phone responded, "This winter was going to be quite cold indeed."

So the Chief went back to speed up his people to collect even more wood to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again, "Is it going to be a very cold winter?"

"Yes," the man replied, "its going to be a very cold winter."

So the Chief goes back to his people and orders them to go and findevery scrap of wood they can find. Two weeks later he calls the National Weather Service again and asks "Are you absolutely sure, that the winter is going to be very cold?"

"Absolutely" the man replies, "the Blackfeet are collecting wood like crazy!"

I often drive. Fact is, I love to pile the entire family into the car and “explore” the most unique areas of the United States. I have blogged about this several times. But there are several things that make me nervous when it comes to entering the road with other drivers on it.

Cell phones are just the tip of the engine block. I am not a proponent of making a law to restrict the use of non-hands-free cell phones. I believe there are already enough laws we have a hard time enforcing, especially since there are often laws already on the books. Take for instance Washington, DC. On July 1, 2004, DC made a Distracted Driving Safety Act making it illegal for motorists to use a mobile phone or other electronic device while driving in the District of Columbia, unless the telephone or device is equipped with a hands-free accessory. Other urban areas such as Chicago are following suit with this new law.

This already brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). Why stop there? People are distracted all of the time in the vehicle. It ranges from turning their vehicle into a restaurant or polishing my toenails.

One year ago today, I had someone slam into the back of my vehicle while I was stopped at the light waiting for the arrow to turn green. Here is how it all went down…

Toto and I were stopped about three cars back in the left turn lane on Lake Shore drive in Chicago. I had enough time to look in my rear view mirror and think “What the” before the White Toyota Corolla slammed into us going about 50 miles per hour. We were then pushed completely under the Ford pickup truck in front of us, and pushed into the Cadillac in front of him while twisting into the next left turn lane to the right. The other lane just happened to have another car coming down and we slammed into that car as well. Glass was flying everywhere.

Five cars total were involved and the pickup truck was on the roof of our car (not the hood, the roof). I began exiting the vehicle when the pickup rolled down enough to get 2 tires on the road. Toto exclaimed “Dude, hold on we are still moving!” When we believed all of the movement stopped, he stated that I need to get out now.

Meanwhile I am attempting to remove my keys from the ignition not realizing it was not longer attached to the steering column and was sort of dangling (thus making it complicated in my rather shocked and confused state). I exited. While Toto was crossing over the drivers side, he noticed his Mountain Dew can and stated “Dammit, I just opened that Dew!” Understand, Toto drinks about 2 gallons of Dew per day. Dew is a precious commodity for him.

After he stepped out of the vehicle, he started back into to find his cell phone. I was already climbing in to find my cell phone (you never know who is going to call you in the middle of a 5 car pileup). I found mine straight off and dug my hand through the glass to find his under the passenger seat. I finally turned off the car and climbed out.

Toto informed me to call the QueenSuchandSuch and he would call work. Yes, we called work BEFORE calling 911. Why? Well, we had a meeting and we wanted to make sure someone knew we were going to be late….real late. We are both shaking like a leaf because of the cold and the shock that we lived through it all. So, while Toto makes his call, he lights up a cigarette. The lady who car we slid into the other lane, ran over to Toto to inform him he should not smoke that right now…that the ground being covered in gasoline may cause a disruption in the ambulance crew being able to tend to our needs.

He looked down and thought “hmm…” He tossed it across the street. At this point I am talking to the Queen and the discussion goes something like this:

Me: (With somewhat slow and slurred speech) Hi Hon. Um, we had an accident.
Queen: WHAT?
Me: We had an accident…this guy plowed into us and the car…
Queen: Are you OK?
Me: is not going to make it. I think…I think we are probably going to the hospital
Queen: WHAT? Are you OK? Are you OK?!
Me: I think I am fine, but I think we are going to the hospital and…
Queen: Are you or aren’t you?
Toto: We are going to the hospital
Me: Apparently, we are going to the hospital…I will call you when I find out which one…probably Northwestern…
Queen: Call me as soon as you know
Me: OK.

I begin taking inventory of vehicles and notice that everyone is fine and the lady in the other lane is flipping out. We calmed her down and the one person who you would think would check on everyone had the yellow pages out and was on his cell phone. I have two problems here. How many people keep yellow pages in their car? Second, who the hell was he calling? He told the officer he was calling a tow truck. He didn’t check on anyone. No remorse. In fact, he stated I stopped short in court. Stopped short? How short could I have possibly not stopped to have him have enough room to stop his vehicle when he never hit the brakes going 50 miles per hour? He was found guilty. Everyone knew he was using the left turn lane as his passing lane. So now, his Bob’s basement insurance company has to pay out… in 5 years…according to the statue of limitations. I should have duct taped his arse.

We ended up with minor bumps, bruises, and concussions.

What was he really doing? Talking on his cell phone…and probably looking something up in the yellow pages. Does it bother you when people eat, shave, polish their toenails (which I have seen), put on makeup, eyeliner, brush teeth, yell at children in the back seat, shampoo their dog or even fight aliens? Do we need to create a law every time people are not paying attention, or should we just use the existing inattentive driving law most every state already has? At what point have we gone too far? Do drive-thru restaurants help contribute to inattentive driving?

Toss out from the Big Mac and put your hands on the wheel!

On January 24, DoWhaChaDo89 retired from his blog (tear) and willed me his Viewer’s Choice. This is terrifying new experience for me and I am a little bit afraid of what awaits me as I have been warned. So here are the rules that have been copied from DoWhaChaDo89’s previous blog.

Here is how the game is played. It is a lot like the 5 questions thing but faster and more fun. You ask a question in the comments I update this post with the answer. (I add the last one answered to the top so you don't have to scroll through each update.) I take any liberty in answering the questions the way I want to but I have to answer every question.

So you can throw silly or deep questions at me. So let's see what you all can come up with!

[One more request... if you like the game but don't have any questions then give me a bump in the comments for some props!]

So, I do not want to change the rules a whole lot but I am going to make just one. I am removing the last line. If you want to read what it said, highlight it. You don’t have to comment just to give me props. OK, bring on the questions.

LittleMissCantBeWrongEver pipes in with "Yer giving me a headache! Are you smoking crack? LOL..."
Are you selling?

shellyodessa chimes in "what animal do you feel connected to, if any, and why?"
I am VERY connected to the human. We are very close.

dasandwooman replies back with "LMAO! I LOVE your answer to my question! hahahaha.. I am a fast little pig... not sure you could catch me to duct tap me up!"
You are probably right. I am too old to chase a pig around. I would just lay the duct tape all over the floor face up.

WatchingStuff adds "Do you have a picture of George Jetson on your desk, or maybe duct taped to the wall?"
LOL...Do you work with me? How do you all know this stuff? Have you been talking to the Queen?

peachjolyranchr graces us with her presence and states "I'm just giving you random props because it's five in the morning, and I'm at work, and it's far too early to think!"
So, you are NOT thinking at work. What do you do?

peppyannie busts in with "Will you remember me when you are rich and famous?"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...Rich and Famous...HAHAHAHAHAHA
In a way I am already rich. I have family and friends (Xanga or otherwise) that I truly enjoy being around. I have my health. I have my shelter.
I will never be famous.

QueenCrab doesn't really ask a question but has me ponder "The weirdest thing I ever ate was called a thousand-year-old egg, which it really isn't. The Late Great made me try it the same night he told his aunt that we eat pussy (cat) in this country. An egg is wrapped in a thick layer of mud, put in the ground and "cooks" for a few months. They use duck eggs and the result is a black egg. Yuk!"
I am not sure which disturbs me more...the months old egg or the cat. You would have to hit me in the head with large bolders before I would do that. Does cat tastes like chicken? I heard it takes like chicken. Does it?

runningslow pitches a fast one to me "How in the world did you snag my amazing and beautiful cousin and make her fall in love with you? (Not that you aren't a catch yourself.)"
I drugged her and I am magnificent in bed.

Emme402 questions me "With all the new subscribers, how are you dealing with your sudden rise to fame?"
I have a very fat head. It will all fit. Actually, I don't necessarily believe that I have any more subscribers than anyone else.

WomanInProgress challenges me with "If it weren't the year of Pam or the year of the dog, what year would it be? (2006 is not a funny answer)"
Well Pam, If it weren't the year of Pam, It would have to be the year of Duct Tape or the year of the Pig for all of those piggy friends out there. I like the year of Extraterrestrial Sciences though or YES!

fratmom is great isn't she? Ohmigosh....you got me when you played around with Uranus:)
That is just not right turning that around on me like that fratmom.

TheTheologiansCafe (ACK! Now I am under the gun) graces me with his presence and asks "What was the one question you were afraid someone would ask? And then if you could answer that question
That one. I just did... YEAH! I answered it!

mimilorraine chimes in with "Thank you for your kind comment....I always enjoy reading you.
Awww...I enjoy readin you as well.

ilostmymindb4iwasborn boggles me with "being my recent question about clearwater & the fact that i haven't been readin u very long, what do u do for a living?
Well, I make money as an IT Operations Manager for a large healthcare company...can't say much more than that.

pulling_my_hair_out brushes up with "You seriously crack me up with your answers! mmm...I'm thinking here...ok, got one! Have you ever been abducted by aliens"
I am thinking it would be very painful to be cracked up or otherwise. No, but I have abducted them.

x_tragicbeauty_x adds to the travesty "Ok, aside from the Queen and your kids, duct tape, and the basic essentials of life like food, water, and shelter, what is one material thing that you would be devastated if you had to live your life without?"
Hmm..I give up..what? (I took that page from DoWhaChaDo89's book)
I guess it would be my Adoption information. Keep in mind that the adoption information written by my aMom at the time of my adoption is a very recent addition to my life. This paperwork explains how I came to be and why my aMom adopted me. It is the core of my existence and someday, I may follow through on the need to find my bParents. I could write an entire blog on this so I am going to stop.

PrincessofQuiteaLotofKids adds to the madness with "So I know you fly sometimes for work. How do you do with that? Are you a nervous flyer or at ease with being in a massive flying death tube?"
First of all, Welcome Princess! Congrats on you first series of comments. The Queen and the Princess are RL friends. Most of the time the flying is fairly easy as I tend to be full of hot air. Oh, you mean in an airplane...well, the flying part does not bother me nearly as much as the passengers on the flight. I deleted that post. I actually like to fly most of the time. I have a way for getting the best seat. Once you fly a considerable amount, the flights are just a movie and a soda (Coke (Even Root Beer is called a Coke) if you are in Northern Midwest, Pop if you are from the South).

momofjenmatt brings the partay with "If Queen and the kids all protested duct tape and would only allow scotch tape in the house, what would you do?"
Oh..though one. The sticking power of scotch tape does not make it useful when it comes to taping children to chairs. I guess I would have to invite them all outside. bua ha ha ha ha ha. I love loopholes.

macastat snaps in with "Weirdest food i ever ate was Balut, a SE Asian delicacy of boiled duck egg... with a duck embryo treat, waiting complete."
OH MAN! My stomach is turning just thinking about that.

Camping_Diva throws down a tent with "what movie are your favorite and why?"
I have many different movie moods. So, I will list one from each genre.

Action/Adventure/Fantasy: Lord of the Rings Trilogy...Incredible camera work and special effects.
Animation/Family: Shrek and Finding Nemo (just keep swimmin, swimmin, swimmin)
Biographical/War: Schindler's List
Comedy: This is really tough for me. Mr Smith goes to Washington is classic intelligent comedy. Monty Python and the Holy Grail is classic slapstick comedy. The Princess Bride is a nice blend of the two. But Office Space is my number one right now.
Crime: The Silence of the Lambs
Drama: The Shawshank Redemption
Horror: Toss up here... Psycho is classic horror, Amityville (the original) was bad, but Misery just freaks me out.
Independent: I actually watch a lot of independent...Silence of the Lambs is considered independent, but Amelie is one of the best I have ever seen. Other good ones include The Lover and Mr. Holland's Opus.
Music: O Brother Where art Thou?
Musical: Grease and Footloose. Chicago and Singing in the Rain are good as well, but the other two are classics.
Mystery: Mulholland Dr. followed closely by Rear Window.
Romance: The Princess Bride...Inconceivable!Sci-Fi: Twelve Monkeys
Sport: Remember the Titans
Western: A Man called Horse

A note from chickabomb reads "RYC: Thanks for your note and the astounding show of support :):)"
She quit smoking. Quit looking at me that way. Oh, and no, I am NOT an athletic supporter.

A more sensible question from Kandig is "How do you cope with stress, confusion and the fact you just need a nap, duct tape excluded"
How did you know I need a nap? I blog. I have a seriously high stress job and I find it terribly relaxing to blog. Talking to my wife and sometimes the kids, bowling, taking spontaneous car rides, and having sex is all relaxing. As far as the confusion, I don't think I understand the question.

Dasandwooman causes a severe blow with "All the duct tape in the world has disappeared, no where to be found. Do you chose another tape to love, like electrial tape, scotch tape etc. or do you die of a broken heart"
BLASPHEMY! Impossible! All the duct tape in the world disappear?! I am sitting here bawling just thinking of the idea! A replacement? There is no such thing! The fiber mesh with the super strong adhesive and plastic backing. There is no other tape like it. Just for that, I can see a pig with pink heart glasses in the future...being duct taped up.

My wife joins my whipping with "I feel so special what with everyone sending me on vacations and knocking me up with triplets. Thanks so much and HI HONEY! My question is this: Since I dream of Matthew McConaughy and I know you dream cause you make funny noises in your sleep from the top end of your body, who and what do you dream about? Besides me of course"
You are special honey. Hi. The funny noises are gas. I already told you that I dream of flying purple spotted elephants and weasels floating to Uranus. I am really beginning to like this game.

Lissersmom generously donates this "You have just won a all expense, paid vacation to the MOON....would you go? Why or why not?"
Of course! I already have so many friends there and the view of Uranus is wonderful. I always wanted to use Uranus in my blog but couldn't figure out how to fit in Uranus.

Silvernicks rides me with the movie question "An extremely wealthy man wants to give you a hundred million dollars so you and your wife can life happily ever after, but first you must have a "one nighter" with him, what would you do?"
Oh wait...there is a twist to this question. I have to sleep with him (turns sheepishly white)? Sorry honey, we are gonna be poor.

WriterDebNJ enters the arena with a devasting blow "The Queen has decided she needs a break. She and RunningSlow are going to a resort island for a week - leaving you with ALL the kids and there is NOBODY to come help you at all! How do you handle this? "
As long as I have duct tape, all is good. The youngest might squirm her way out, so her closet door will have to be locked.

Cyndelee drops the double bomb on me with "if you came home, from a business trip.. and Queen told you she needed to talk and she told you that, she's pregnant with triplets..What would you do?"
OK, no fair with the double drop! Oh, yeah...you can ask anything...Um...this is a trick question right? Do you know something I don't? I would support her whole heartedly of course...Hi honey Please don't post another picture of me like that.
"If you were stranded on an island and you could have 5 things.. what would they be?"
Easy! A boat, A 5 star hotel, An intense amount of money (meaning the numbers of dollars would start with a B), my wife (Hi again honey!), and her boyfriend Pablo or whoever she has now (I want to make sure she is happy).

Browneyedpsycho opens the forum with "what is the wierdest food you ever ate?"
I am so glad you asked. I actually don't eat food. I just strip the meat straight off the cow and lightly kiss it with a very large eye-brow singeing flame. I have at one time tried the...um...things grown in the ground, plant like...um...vegetables and found that I could stand to see a plant die just to feed me.

So yesterday morning QueenSuchandSuch drove me to the airport to catch my flight to sunny Tampa, Florida. After a flying ordeal, I landed safely, french kissed the ground and made my way to the Hertz rental car place.

I don't usually rent cars but the costs for the car versus the cost of the cab ride was about the same...and I am not much for cab rides. So, I rented the car with navigation of course. When I finally arrive at the hotel the meeting is being held in, I thought the swimming pool was sure hopping on a Sunday when it is only 70 degrees out. Well, this is because the bands were line up have concerts while the Hawaiian Tropic bikini contest was taking place. Of course, I find all of this out much later at the governors dinner, so it is moot.

I checked into the hotel, dropped off my luggage and started walking around the hotel. To my surprise, the hotel is ON the beach. There standing on the edge of the beach stood mecca. A tiki bar. A bar with music playing, surrounded by sand and wind. My thoughts go to calling my wife to make sure she had the message that I landed alive and make sure she had the phone number. I woke her so the conversation was short. OK, so back to the bar.

I am a lightweight when it comes to drinking. I am especially a lightweight when it comes to drinking without food, so when the Long Island Iced Tea touched my lips, I was smashed. It did not take 1/2 of the first drink to have me drunk. Not nearly as drunk as my wife on her 21st birthday (I will circle back to this), but drunk. I drank the whole drink and some of the people for my governor's dinner started showing up for the festivities. Open bar. Wow. No driving, I just have to find my room. So, I ordered another.

The appetizers began to circulate and I grabbed a couple to fend off the inevitable drunken slobber associated with my alcohol. Two teas down and dinner was served. Now keep in mind these are a LOT of middle aged men and very few women so, the area gets a bit childish. The "song book" emerges. Now normally these men would never think of singing, let alone in front of anyone, but they all do it...including yours truly. Two Long Island Iced Teas was all it took to pick my selection out of the book which was "Theme from Gilligans Island." Drunk and stupid a few other men joined me. Does anyone have any idea how long the Gilligans Island theme is?

Well, Here it is:

Well, yours truly did. One more Long Island Iced Tea was brought to me by our cruise director, Alex (he is actually the chair of our meeting) before the bar closed outdoors and moved indoors.
I went back to my room. I was smiling a lot and a bit tired. I tried to blog...but the words nor the keyboard were not cooperating.

Now, this was not nearly as bad as when QueenSuchandSuch turned 21. We were in Ocean City, Maryland and it was the day before her birthday. We went to have a nice dinner and movie and hang around until midnight.

The clock struck 12 and we raced in for her first legal alcoholic beverage. It is called the Pain in de Ass. It is a frozen Rum Runner and a frozen Pina Colada swirled. It tastes very good (like a slurpee) and it will knock you on your ass, thus the name. She downed one in brain freezing time and asked for the second. She took that one down a bit slower and did not think there was any alcohol in the drink thereby blaming me for ordering a bad drink.

She didn't believe me when I told her that it requires movement to kick in until she stepped off the stool and into the palm tree. Her attempt to head to the bathroom was blocked with pretty talking palm trees and jumping tiki torches. It was 12:20. After she emerged from the bathroom singing "Happy Birthday to me," we headed back to the beach house.

I poured her into the car and we were on our way. I pulled up to the stop light and another car pulled up next to me. The police man was giving me a very questionable stare to determine if I was as drunk as my wife. Did I mention she was STILL singing Happy Birthday to me with her window down at the top of her lungs? I told the officer I am taking her home right now and he smiled. Whew...

This brings me to my point (as I almost always have one). Drink plenty of water while you are drinking. It makes the hangover much easier to deal with.

OK, I am off to the vendor dinner and drinks...weeeeee...Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale...